"The 2024 Tote"

Ever wanted an absolute bottomless pit where you will never find your keys or phone but every time you think "maybe I should just just get a purse" you just dump everything into the tote. Well, do I have a bag for you! It holds everything! Valuable ID, your irreplaceable wallet, that notebook you never use, a shopping list from 8 months ago, loose gum, an edible that is maybe still good, and inexplicably a business card for an accountant in Missouri.